Music playlist week #19
First, a bit of a warning for you. We are NOT going to be too nice about the following tracks. There is no particular order, they're all pretty bad in our opinion...
Cliff Richard - Saviours Day
This isn't actually a Christmas Record. It doesn't actually mention Christmas once. It's a record about a Holiday Sir Cliff made up called Saviours Day in which people praise, give thanks, etc. And it's an awful, awful, awful song.
Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
The X-Factor had the monopoly on Christmas number 1's for a long, long time. Their competition winners seemed to grab the top spot every single year for what seemed like the longest time. Yeah, most of them are bad, but this is up there with the worst.
Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
We'll admit, we have a bit of a soft spot for this, but when you are making a list of the worst Christmas number ones, you can't leave this off can you? Just because something has become somewhat of a cult classic over the years, doesn't stop it being a bit crap. Even Spotify won't let you listen to this.
Bob The Builder - Can We Fix It?
Making Bob The Builder into a "Pop Star" is some seriously shameless marketing cash in, but you can't argue with the numbers. Not only was this Christmas number one, it was also the biggest selling UK single in 2000. Why though? God knows.
Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Lover From Liverpool
A relentlessly upbeat novelty song performed by a 9 year old doesn't exactly say "Classic Song" to us. That may make us sound a bit miserable, but that's what this track does to us. The worst thing about this song is it kept his Brothers' very good "Crazy Horses" from making the top.
Westlife - I Have A Dream/Seasons In The Sun
Our biggest problem with this track? It covers a classic by ABBA. We love ABBA, and you should never cover them, especially not when the result is this cheesy, boring and painful to listen to Christmas number one. Still, they're dead good at standing up from stools in sync, aren't they?
St Winifred's School Choir - There's No One Quite Like Grandma
If you Google the word "Nauseating" this will likely be one of the first hits you get. There's not too much we can say about this, to be honest. Sure, the sentiment is sweet, but just listen to it. It's not an exaggeration to say it makes the skin crawl just a little...
Cliff Richard - Mistletoe And Wine
Hello again Cliff. You know what to expect from a festive Cliff release, however that still can't prepare you for just how cringe-worthy his music is. I'm sure he's a lovely bloke, but please, please, PLEASE, never release another single ever again. Thanks.
Band Aid 20 - Do They Know it's Christmas?
The original Band Aid single is incredible. When they announced another Live Aid, you just knew this was coming. The Live Aid concept is great and the show itself was wonderful, but this "re-imagining" of the classic "Do They Know It's Christmas?" falls flat on its arse.
Alexandra Burke - Hallelujah
Now as a song, "Hallelujah" is phenomenal. Whether you prefer Leonard Cohen or Jeff Buckley's version, it's an amazing, emotional and timeless classic. However...This "X-Factor winner's single" makes us want to pull our ears off.
December 12, 2019